Bezawit Solomon found murdered
in Oslo, Norway
A 19-year-old woman named Bezawit Solomon, who is a Norwegian citizen of Ethiopian descent, was found murdered in Norway yesterday (Monday) morning.
The victim’s body was found in one of the apartments in the Anker Studentbolig complex in downtown Oslo, just across the Aker River from the popular Grünerløkka district.
Police have charged the victim’s 27-year-old husband, Yafet Kassa Gebrewold, and issued warrants for his arrest both in Norway and internationally. He is a citizen of Ethiopia, says Inspector Hanne Kristin Rohde.
Yafet Kassa is charged with
murdering his wife
Police withheld many details of the case, but said they found blood in the apartment that quickly led them to believe the woman was murdered. They were first summoned to the complex shortly after 1am, by an acquaintance of the woman.
It is reported that Bezawit came to Norway in 2000 and in 2006, she was granted Norwegian citizenship. The husband came to Norway in 2004 as a student. The two got married in 2006. “They had good relationship. They were to to celebrate their second wedding anniversary this month,” says Temesgen Kahsay, a friend who knew the couple.
The police want tips from the public on this issue, if you have information, please contact the police at tel: 22 66 99 66
Ethiopian man in Alexandria VA charged with killing wife
Murder suspect Mesfin Hussien
ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA — Police have charged Mesfin Hussien with the murder of his wife Hawlet Mohammed today. The victim died at the scene. An autopsy performed today has determined the manner of death to be homicide.
Hawlet is Alexandria’s first homicide victim of this year (2008), according to Alexandria Police.
A few weeks ago, another idiot in Arlington, Virginia, strangled his wife to death. Yesterday, in Norway, yet another woman from Ethiopia was killed by her husband. Is this becoming an epidemic in our community? What is driving these men to murder their wives?
- – - – - – - – -
ALEXANDRIA POLICE DEPARTMENT
MEDIA SERVICES UNIT, 2003 MILL ROAD
ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA 22314-4658
703-838-4636
NEWS RELEASE, JUNE 23, 2008 #08-024
Alexandria Police Identify Homicide Victim; Make Homicide Arrest
Alexandria police have identified the victim of yesterday’s homicide as Hawlet Mohammed, a 27 year-old Alexandria woman. Police were called to the 3000 block of Park Center Drive around 11:55 p.m. for the report of a deceased female. The victim died at the scene.
The victim suffered trauma to the upper body. An autopsy performed today has determined the manner of death to be homicide.
Alexandria detectives arrested an Alexandria man for the murder of Hawlet Mohammed earlier today. Mesfin Hussin, 35, of 3001 Park Center Drive, was charged with Murder. Mr. Hussin is the husband of Ms. Mohammed.
This is the first homicide in Alexandria this year. There were eight homicides in Alexandria last year.
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Well,
It is better to say nothing. I am sure these guys are upset with their wives. I am one of the victims but for the sake of my child I will not harm her. If I wasn’t a devoted christian and If I ddn’t have a child, I would have done the same thing. My wife did to me the worest thing on earth that a female can do to her husband and to her baby’s father but I gave it to God. I will not revenge and I am sure God will revenge her.
I mean I wouldn’t blame these guys for what they did.
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June 23rd, 2008 at 11:30 PM
I am not yet married ,as much as I wanted to ,am scared to death to sign that contract and end up single father-serious,
this isn’t out of being selfish,it has to do with the offspring to come . I want my kids to grow feeding on both parents love .As it stands this days, this (the thought)is becoming an ideal thought than a practical one.
advise……
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Anonymous replies:
March 26th, 2012 at 12:59 AM
JUST BE CAREFUL TAKE YOUR TIME, SOMETIME ITS HARD IF YOU’RE WITH THE WRONG PERSON
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Those who kill their spouses and children are more likely to be influenced by their culture, or downright have low self esteem and are not equipped with coping mechanisms.The Ethiopian Community Centers need to work hard in educating new comers as to how to cope with the demands of life in America. Marriage is a social contract that could be broken any time by one or both parties when incompatibility surfaces. It would be helpful for would be couples to participate in an orientation sessions before they venture to vow for life time relationship. Agencies and churches should also adminster tests before they issue certificates of marriage just like the test to obtain a driving license.
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:27 AM
Why would one kills somebody and distroy his/her own life no matter how bad the damage inflicted by the victim ? I was tested and overcame. My fellow Ethiopians in the diaspora,please don’t take yourself seriously .When things get worse your response would be like these things never happend before.Lighten-up,take it easy,BEKELALU YAZUT… .
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:17 AM
“What is driving these men to murder their wives? … A valid question!!!
Additional question, I may add is what are these women doing to their husbands that made them so angry to the point of killing them?
We, Ethiopians, have always been a tolerant society, we have been welcoming all kinds of people to our country: Ethiopian Jewish people, who descended from the tribe of Dan and wandered south, to Muslims, who sought refuge in Ethiopia from persecution in their land. We lived peacefully with all major religions of the world.
Some how Ethiopians of the generation X living abroad and in Ethiopia are totally messed up. Those Ethiopians of the “baby boomers” age have done so much well for themselves and for America and wherever they happen to live in.
May God have mercy on the lost souls of the Gen X Ethiopians.
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:22 AM
Well – Habesha female have gotten it wrong on USA and they are confused with keeping their culture as the same time “becoming American” at once. These ladies keep hearing from non ethiopian that they are beautiful and so on all day long and when they have any kind of argument with their husband the ran ans sleep with other men. Or – they watch too much of Ophra and they thing that all marraige should be like the one they see on TV. They are confused about sex and the husband works over time to support her and her family in Ethiopia and he may not have the energy ot satefy her sexual need in the bedroom. Where as the “black american” guys could satefy her due to the fact most of these guys dont realy work and they live check to check, have enough time to work out and mentally they are not stressed out. So – my advice to habesha men is – please work less and work out more, please make sure ur women works at all time and she is tired just like you and go out exercise and build your body mass. I have a friend who once told me that he rather have his women work and spend her income on herself than she spent his money on her. Even if things go wrong, the man will be in a better shape if the women is working. If she is a sit home mom, when divorce comes – the husband will be forced to give her 50% of his income for about 10 yrs and child support every month. And trust me – the women will go around and fuck all your friends after divorce but will not get married until 10 yrs if passed – espcially if the alomony is a lot of money. SO – my brothers – lets stop putting a rope on our head and letour sisters work thier ass off just like us. Keep them working all year round and be ready for divorce at the time and have you $$$ hide some where for rainy day. adios
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Vegas Phil replies:
December 6th, 2011 at 4:05 AM
I’m from Haiti and I have a baby on the way by a Habesha women. Your funny but I have to
Agree with you. The Habesha men are to passive and let these women flirt with their friends at the hookha lounge
When their in a social setting together. She should know her place as well as you. She should flirt with her girlfriends
Not claiming that’s my cousin,when she know he wants to do
Her lol. If you let her work she might still cheat but at least she will have less time on her hands and more appreciation
For your sacrifices. Also always remind her she’s beautiful and tell her you love her. Don’t be physically abusive but man up. If she fucks up give a second chance. If it repeats itself you can do better. When you’re at the hookha lounge take charge and be a man. Say to your friends give us a second were trying to spend time together were trying to spend a romantic evening alone. The girls like to see you take charge if your not hangin as a group. If she calls it control she’s not for you. On the aspect of marriage to eaches own. If my girl behaves I’ll do it for the sake of my child because I need to teach my daughter the right way. If she cheats or leave me I’ll help her with anything she needs for my daughter . It’s not about me or her I can get another Habesha or Asian girl :). Sign out:Vegas Phil
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Anonymous replies:
May 9th, 2012 at 1:40 AM
These are some of the most ignorant comments I’ve ever heard.if you people are so unhappy with America,why don’t you get the hell out of our country. I’m so sick of you third world mf coming here and complaining about our country,but you continue to reside here.FYI To all Ethiopia men,wake up,Ethiopia women are shy with you all but they are pure freaks with other races and no matter how many times they get f$&ked,they all claim to be virgins,yeah right
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:41 AM
Marraige is not a simple social contract. It is must be more complex than that. God orders us to stay in marraige unless there is adultrey from one of the couples.
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:27 AM
It must be mental sickness or being possessed by devil that drives some one to commit murder, particularly murdering his wife. It is impossible for me to comprehend such a behavior, because it is not only destroying another life, but it is also destroying oneself. This guy is screwed for the rest of his life. No matter how angry the wife might have made him, he could have just walked away.
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:49 AM
Sym got the issue right. Most Ethiopian ladies are in some sort of identity crises. It is unfair in the first place for the man to work day and night and the lady sitting there especially for some mentally corrupt Ethiopian ladies. For those single guys my advise is not to marry any lady who lived in diaspora for more than 3 or 4 years. How can one trusts people whose dream is just to grab some money by cheating the government as well as any body who come by.
Although it is sad to hear death of somebody but it is most likely that the guys are pushed to this situation by the ladies themselves. At the end, if she commits adultery she deserves the punishment and the guy deserves jail for the killing.
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June 24th, 2008 at 3:04 AM
Some Habesha women can really be difficult. They make your life a living hell… I mean real hell. I have been thru that a couple of times where I was about to lose control of myself. The solution is not violence or killing. Pack your staff and get the hell out of there and as far as you can. That is the smart way of dealing with a difficult wife or girlfriend. At the societal level, there seems to be moral bankruptcy in our community. From the patriarch on down all the community leaders, politicians, businessmen… are all thieves, liars, selfish assholes. So the young generation is growing up without being educated what’s right and wrong.
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June 24th, 2008 at 3:31 AM
Listen up Abesha men!
I agree with the fact that our women are in some kind of crisis. However, there are a number of immoral abesha men who shamefully go after married women. I knew many who are mentally corrupt men who are responsible for such mess.
Country men, when you fuck around with your fellow brother wife, you shouldn’t forget for a second that the same thing will happen to your ass. Thus, the blame is not only with the screwed up abesha women but also the idiot abesha men who go after a married women.
Let’s use our senses! Yagir lig
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:20 AM
No one has the right to take another person’s life. However, the behaviour of most Ethiopian ladies live in diaspora is getting worse as time goes by. I am in the receiving end of the abuse by my girlfriend of 10 years, who’s betrayed me, done owful things – including sleeping with afro caribeans and arabs, in secret, behind my back.
I moved on leaving the revenge to my Lord!
As a community, we ought to have a discussion about the issue, before it gets passed to the next generation…
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:23 AM
for me all this i hear it’s so disastrous!! what happen to Ethiopian man what ever happen it’s ot right to kil no way guys Amlak mastewaln ysten
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:40 AM
OH GOD SAVE HABESHAS FROM THIS DEVIL SPRIT ACT
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:55 AM
Many habasha men are difficult. They think they live in Ethiopia in the old ways where the man is the only bread winner, the adulterer and the lord that reigns over his wife and children, where women are passive recipients of praise or punishment from their husband. Habasha men want a lord and servant relationship to continue here in the West and when they can not do it, they get screwed up and take actions like the king: punish his wife and even take her life. This is the main reason why our men kill their wives.
Ofcourse there are lots of mistakes committed by our women too. They have taken their right in the West too seriously without any regard to the traditional upbringing our men lived for centuries. They go to the extent of abusing the rights given to them. Women can cheat, lie, hide some money in the closet, even commit adultry etc… but these are very few section of the women population. Most women are hard-working, mothers and supporters of their husbands. We must also not forget that women are vulnerable in this society too and need support everywhere and all the time.
We men need to come out of the old thinking. Women also have to realise that these laws in the West are not to be taken seriously. There will always be family problems wherever we are but what is lacking here in the West is our own community that can help us resolve our social problems. Where there is no an Ethiopian community, we have to use other communities to resolve our family and marraige problems. If need be we should be able to ask these other communities to help us restart our life. There are many organisation that give support for families in crisis. However, this is a temporary solution.
There is some truth in what our commentator above said
” At the societal level, there seems to be moral bankruptcy in our community. From the patriarch on down all the community leaders, politicians, businessmen… are all thieves, liars, selfish assholes. So the young generation is growing up without being educated what’s right and wrong”.
We brought with us all the ills of our society we left behind. But we should learn from other peoples around us and from our experiences in the West and be ready to change. It is high time that we build our own Ethiopian community where we share our experience and support each other. And above all where we learn (class room, formal education) about marraige and family laws, about us and find solutions. The lasting solution remain to be educating ourselves both men and women.
change we can!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 5:04 AM
Communication is needed when difficulties aries. Unfortunately, many Ethiopian men are not socialized ( as many men in general) to discuss issues, feelings difficulties or any major problems within their relationship. One must understand that a union of two people requires constant communication, patience and respect not to mention understanding and love. Misunderstanding begins when we feel we are not appreciated or valued by our partner for various reasons assumed or imagined. It starts small then it grows to more resentment and at the end rage and hate. If given a chance two people who got together for love have the same needs.
Women tend to hear to too many OP advice which is not always good as it can be misleading. I suggest people begin research on line and educate themselves on how to improve communication. The online community can also make one realize that all marriages have issues and it is how we deal with them that matters. One should NEVER lose respect for one another or for oneself in a relationship. Our community does not use self help books, meditation, faith healing or psychology.. most advices are gained over drinks in bars or hair salons. Also unfortunately those who love rage more. Foolish pride coupled with insecurity and inability to deal effectively with problems leads to careless hateful behaviors which end up hurting both people. People Keep the dialog going.. honest dialogs with patience.. if things do not work out … walk out.. understood or having nothing else to say… proudly
Patience is a virtue…
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June 24th, 2008 at 5:51 AM
very sad story
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June 24th, 2008 at 6:33 AM
Just an incidental observation.
As Danny comments, the moral bankruptcy particularly of sexual immorality in our society is old and widespread.
Adulterous relationships are everywhere and they have literally killed many marriages.
We need a renewal. Marriage, as a covenantal relationship needs renewal. It is a sacred relationship and should not be defiled by one partner using the other as a means to an end. Both partners are ends in themselves. As the philosopher Martin Buber says, it is a Thou-Thou relationship and not a Thou-It one.
My heart goes out to all those involved in this tragedy.
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June 24th, 2008 at 6:39 AM
Very interesting and educating comments about our women in the U.S.!
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June 24th, 2008 at 7:17 AM
Habesh men could not stomach a liberated woman. They want physically to live in America but they do not want to adapt to the American way of life. But our sisters are adapting the life style faster than our brothers and that is creating a clash of civilization.
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June 24th, 2008 at 7:45 AM
I think we as a people have an issue if most of these comments is pointing the finger at the Women. No matter what she has done, no matter how ‘un-Ethiopian’ she may seem in the eyes of her husband, he has no right to take her life away. He has a right to leave, the right to pursue a divorce but if he kills her HE IS THE ONE AT FAULT NOT HER! I am embarrassed at some of these comments pointing at the woman. May the Lord eradicate the neanderthal mentality a good number of you have.
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June 24th, 2008 at 7:47 AM
Folks:
Every one pays for his/her crime according to the law of the land. Crime is not an opition and is not worth the after effect.
Every problem can be solved. But the key question is to find the KEY itself.
However, we need to know also that the major part of the propblem is not really in the family who are deliberately turning evil but in the distant and near situtations to a large extent.
What are some of these situations?
1. Back home in Ethiopia our culture is basically patriarchal, whereby the husband is normally suppose to be the unquestioned head of the family who earns bread and butter for his home. This also means that he is the source and symbol of authority as has always been prescribed by the cultural and value patterns of that society.
Of course these values and division of tasks do change even there due to increased education, urbanization, professinalizations, cultural and value liberalizations, gender equalizations, etc.
But such snail paced change would have been very very slow and quite unnoticable just like the rotation of the planet earth that takes place once in 24 hours but nobody ever takes notice of the phenomena.
2. Away from home, thanks to the medieval Ethiopian minority dictatorship, now Ethiopians are forced to be completely uprooted from their familiar physical, social and cultural environments and suddenly placed in the strange and unfamiliar physical, social and cultural environments which certainly causes serious problems of adjustments and culture shocks, resulting in to such dramatic human tragedies.
Here in the strange foreign physical, social and cultural environments the roles of family members are reversed and actually placed up side down on its heads, compared to the roles we have accustomed to back home.
Here patriarchalism does not work as a wife/a women can also freely go out to study, work, talk, walk, and have free and leisure time and may bring material and financial resources to the family and act as a matriarchal head of the family.
In thiss efforts of the wife/woman’s role, there are lots of sympathy in the new soiety such western women who are more than willing to help third world women and try their best to empower and strenthen them, while at the same time being very suspicious and often times discriminative against husbands and men from the developing countries such as Ethiopia.
Men’s role would then change from being head of the family to being the tail of the family or even may be isolated, a role which may not be acceptable to most men, at least very smoothly and easily.
In reality it may also be just good enough even if women may get good education, good salary and become good head of the family too. But they need to learn to be humble, modest, nurturing, understanding, tolerant and enabling towards her man and the other family members. Boastful, aggressive, arrogant, argumentative conflict generator and publicly cheating and dispising women character causes more harm than good to themselves and the entitre family.
Instead of supporting the family as a composite unit in order to promote gender equality and inter family democracy, most western women jump just emotionally stereotyping and falsely labeling all men in blanket as women oppressors bad guys, thereby promoting the process of family tragic conflict and family disntegration.
Hence the trick is in mutual understanding, understanding of the changed situations and changed gender roles as well as parenting roles and how to make healthy adjustment slowly but surely.
They need to use informed and competent multiculturor at the very early stage of the conflict situation. In this effort immigrant associations and host country professional governmental and non governmental organization can be of great life saving help.
Being proactive and taking the problem to be hnadled by impartial and copmpetent expert organizations and own local association may save lives, limbs and nerves.
So long!
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June 24th, 2008 at 7:55 AM
Dudes, this happens all the time but we used not to hear it because there was no internet. Nothing new, it happpened in the past, it’s happening now and it will continue to happen.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:16 AM
I pray to God for His comfort to all involved including Mesfin Hussien. Also, to forgive and give them wisdom to those individuals who made such generalization comments about their Ethiopian Sisters and American brothers. I wish to express my condolence to both families who lost their loved ones through death and jail.
Lemlem Tsegaw
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:21 AM
GOD BLESS TO THOSE WHO ARE THE VICTIMES ETHIOPIANS.
BUT I FEEL SORRY THOSE ARE NO PATIENT AND TOLERANCE.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:27 AM
its so scary,,,,i really wondering what’s goin on in habesha socity that instead of dealing our problms to get this point,,,GUD NEW!!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:36 AM
Give your life and your problems to Jesus. He will handle it to you. He is solution for any troubles. Come to Jesus. Don’t waste time.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:52 AM
To Elias (the “iditor”), if he wrote this, everything is black and white, simple. Do not judge, pls.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:09 AM
Well, I cant beleive some of the guys think they have a right to panish their wive, and somehow they justify the action taken by the sick men. I am sure if the killer himself would do it again, how can you sit back and say i almost done it i am a victim. Every men who kill their wive when they file divorce are very selfish and they only care about themselve and their money, they depend on their wive so they cant go on with out em thats why they chose to kill and go to jail or some do sucide. It only show how most Ethiopian men are weak.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:26 AM
Our childhood has some answer to these current tragedy of Ethiopian women being killed by their husbands. If we grew up seeing our mother beaten up by our fathers it is most likely we need help.
As a husband myself I have disagreement with my wife like most married couples and the best thing to do for ourself and families is just to walk out if living together is impossible.
There is no “shimageli” here and we have to make that decision even if it might be wrong. Nothing is tragic than taking a life of your wife.
Sadly,
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:27 AM
WOW so you have already tried and found the man guilty? What ever happend to innocent until proven guilty? And worse yet, you all seem to have worked out the motive. Please hold your horses let justice take its course.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:42 AM
Wake up call to our Ethiopian community. Families, please try to solve your problem peacefully. No one should think that she or he would win by forcing the other partner.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:06 AM
I feel sympathy for these men and women. They are simply the product of a corrupt and moriband ethiopian society. In all aspect of life from killing spouses and selling land to foreign governments is the sign of hell raining on we ethiopians. These is exactly what is written in the book of Revelation.
Eventually, Ethiopia will stretch her hands to God and repent!! Till then, let them kill and sell their land.
The whole world is watching us!!
Y
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:08 AM
It is a cultural shock, when mixing western culture of independence-women with home and family oriented ethiopian culture, it creates shock just like cold weather and warm weather sparks lightning and the fearful sound.
As many said, our women found it difficult to compromise between the two cultures. most of them want to be a good women but there is always the influence of medias, friends and magazines to be an independent yet attractive women who can decide for herself. The principle of marriage is that you are there for each other. Too much freedom is no good.
The other issue is that, in the west, the women are very outgoing and very adaptive. they get attention from many cornors of races due to their uniqe Ethiopian look. And it seems most women are inflated by such complements to the point of despising their Ethiopian husband or boyfriend that eventually creates friction and a fight.
Contrary to the women being so quick to learn the wester way of life, many of our men are too slow to adapt. Most of them choose to live the style of life and friendship they used to in Ethiopia by hanging out in restaurants with drinks and music throught out the year. This is economically harmful for the couple and can drive the women into gealousy. The men instead should spend more time in libraries reading, Gyms excercising (trying to get 6 pack if possible :) and take their women for a coffee out in a romantic manner)
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:22 AM
My blames goes to the victimized femele spouse,though myself a femele.you may say how?It seems that many of our fellow country femele are detached from reality and trying to hooke up 100% to the western way of doing things.what they dodnt understand is that the west is realizing that the way they are handling family and social issues is wrong,and the good people are trying to return to the norm and to the original intent that we are created for.I am realy sorry about this incident,but wives let us try to be a biblical wife,is that not being subordinate ,but we will get the real satisfaction there.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:30 AM
Our sisters are spoild so quick by the western culture and are creating a problem that will bring a very bad consequens which remains being a tragedy for their families and for the pepole who nows them,this is what had happend in Manchester betwen two Ethiopian partners both killing each other and living latter their nine years daughter to report the event for a police .Let us try to be submisive for our husbands.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:31 AM
i completely agreed with dani comments!!eventhough there are many ethiopian women who tend to drive insain either their husbands or boyfriends due to lack of information about moral values and standardes and misinterpretation of freedom , noone deserves to be murdered. in my opinion, we shall investigate both men and women mental function to understand their psychic and providing an adequte solution for this social disease.this pattern is clealy social epidemic in ethiopian community and needs to be considered seriously.let us begin our investigation by asking what dirive us insain?
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:47 AM
Dani,
I agree 100 percent. There is a moral bankruptcy in our society that has reached crisis proportion and causing all these societal problems.
There is no free lunch in America. So why is it that one person has to work to the point of exhaustion to support a
wife or husband? Marriage is a big deal not to be taken lightly. We hear all kinds of disgusting things about these
marriages of convenience that end up in disasters like these. The best advice is know what you are getting into.
Don’t try to take advantage of people, stop being so obssessed with material things. If your life is out of control ask for help. Of course, if there was a strong Ethiopian Community Center that was providing marriage counseling services it will certainly help.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:51 AM
No one can comprehend why the deep secret of love between husband and wife quickly changes into a deeper secret of hate that leads to the death of a wife.
Of course, among the Ethiopian women, infidelity is one of the causes of their deaths. I have heard some married Ethiopian women say: “Oh that man is young, tall, good looking, and attractive! I wish I were married to him.” It is this type of wishful thinking that, sometimes, puts some of these married Ethiopian girls in a big trouble with their husbands.
Generally, Ethiopian husbands are “the bread winners,” and they are the ones that put the bread on the table, and they work hard to support their family. If something bad happens to the husband, an Ethiopian woman never stays with him more than a month; she will, I may be wrong, abandon him. I remember one Ethiopian woman whose husband was hurt in a car accident, and, on the same day, she asked me to give her a ride to a big store, which I did. At the store, I saw her buying a lot of expensive makeup, beautifying and making herself attractive like a new bride.
Most Ethiopian girls are unfaithful, and they always cheat on their husbands whether the husband is handsome or not, so to marry an Ethiopian girl is a great risk, especially in this country, where the husband’s or the wife’s parents are not around to watch or judge who is wrong, the husband or the wife.
My advice to you, the Ethiopian husbands, is to get out of the house if you believe your wife is cheating, and if you are intolerant; don’t kill her; just abandon her and go somewhere else. I’m sure there are some Ethiopian husbands who don’t care whether their wives cheat on them; they still stick to their wives, and these are exceptional, and may God bless them.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:57 AM
PLease Ladies respect your husband that means don’t put him down infront of his friend i lost connectiction to casin becouse of his devil wife she don’t need his familly she is controlling freak. guys don’t tollerete to this abouse from your wife you have to learn to say NO sometimes.
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June 24th, 2008 at 11:33 AM
Like it or not, marraige is no more giving oneself to the other. It has become just a live in contract, which can be called off any time for any reason.
My fellow country men, do your best to be the better spouse, hope and pray that your spouse will be fair to you. If things don’t work out, pretend everything is alright and prepare your exit strategy. Always be a winner.
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June 24th, 2008 at 11:42 AM
What a bad luck! We ethiopians should consider our culture, even we live far away from ethiopia. Our women have to respect their husbands. In this case I may think she may have a relation with other people which she didn’t get from him, But they can work out to be a happy family.
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June 24th, 2008 at 11:43 AM
Most people think marriage is a must have at certain age and they get into it. What determines marriage is not whether you are old enough and physically ready, it is a readiness and growth of the mind and perception about life and family. If you still in a state of selfishness and in a mind of ‘me, me’ or ‘all what I said is true’, or ‘I know everything’, you better stay out of it. Marriage is not about love and physical attraction, it is full of sacrifice, compromise and commitment.
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June 24th, 2008 at 11:50 AM
Friends,
When you have over 1,000,000 ethiopians in the Diaspora 3 homocides in different corners of the world is not something that should be seen as something out of this world.
The same goes with Ethiopians dying of car accidents. Some 20 years ag when I first came to the US it was rare that we hear Ethiopians dying of car accident. It is now more common, not because Ethiopians have become more reckless drivers but so many of us are driving ad the chance of getting hit is much higer.
Homocide is the worst type of crime. But as our number increases from 1,000,000 to 2,000,000 in another 20 years or so, we should expect the number of homocide to go even hier.
Tulu Forsa
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Even though I agree that some women play a role in turning a normal man into a killer, there is no justification for murder. If the wife is cheating, or verbally abusive, or does any other thing that drives the man insane, the husband should be smart enough to break the relationship. Committing murder or sucide are behaviors of weak men, losers. Another point, Ethiopian men in the U.S. might want to consider marriage with African American women, because the Ethiopian women in the Diaspora are confused and don’t seem to know what they want. Every one tells them that they are so pretty and staff, and that I think may have messed up their minds. All Ethiopian men I know who are married to African American women are happy. One more point: Guys, take it easy on the booze. Spend less time in the bar, and more time in the gym or library.
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:42 PM
It is really sad. I was vitim too but i’m alive, my husband who i lived for six years he he beat me up and he drag me on the floor and on top of that he wanna run over me with his car infront of my kids and his niece when they start screaming i was trying drag my self to side walk. My kids and his niece were scraming for help and calling 911 at the same time, at that moment he took off. Thank God! i’m alive for my family and for my kids!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:49 PM
i don’t know why you guys blame Ethiopian women. as far as i know ethiopian women are the best and desrve a good life. No one is allowed to kill anyone.for those who blame your wife or girlfriends,ask yourself what you have done wrong first.
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:22 PM
Brothers and Sisters, we are pepole with so much experience in our life time. We need to support NOT kill each other. We must lean to sit and talk and talk. If we don’t agree on an issue, give it time and try it again.
If still doesn’t work, say good bye in a civilized manner.
Life goes on, you will get the one that is meant for you.
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:33 PM
The crisis of our community in USA is very deep. I do not think there is any community that has been hit hard by a cultural shock than Ethiopian community, especially women. I do not mean men do get confused. But it gets worse in women. When some men go to Ethiopia they tell women things different (lie) about their lives in USA. They tell them they own this, they have that… Women believe them and try everything in their power to come to USA. When they get here, all they heard was a BIG LIE! Do we really blame them if they leave that person? I do not. One thing men need to understand is we can not marry a woman who we have known a couple of days even a couple of months. It really makes me sick when I hear stories like this. Marriage is a sacred contract that two people enter to live together until death separates the two. It is not a commodity we buy by looking its outer content. One needs to take the time to study about the other partner. Needs to know about her family and friend. It is not a fast food.
I have also a thing or two to say to our ladies who live in Ethiopia. Do not try to appease men only to get to USA and leave him the next day for your old boy friend. The man who is willing to bring to you states has probably worked hard to save his money. When he tries to bring you to USA, he wants you to live with him and help him financially and psychologically. It is very low and even a crime to deceive men to come here and leave him the next day. Do you blame him if he wishes you harm after all you did to him? You cannot get out of poverty at the expense of others. You will not get a better treatment from the next person you meet. He probably knows your story and will use and get ride of you, which you rightfully deserve. My advice to men and women is please do the right thing even if it hurts you. God will vindicate you and things will get better for down the road. Poverty is not a vice!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Very sad to hear. It is difficult to say one is guilty but no matter what we need to control our emotions as killing a human being is crime no matter what. I think some times it is a good idea to pray and share our grief to a priest.
Lets not commit a crime be it men or women, not abuse the favourable law, keep and learn our culture for those who are born abroad especially if you are engaged with a man/woman born in Ethiopia. Adultary is a crime and is not acceptable any where, it is not a sign of being modern rather it is a barbaric act just like killing.
The frequency of murdur amoong Ethiopians is increasing these days. Most cases are related to adultary both by Men and Women. This is really troubling for our children both home and in the west, obviously we don’t want our children learn crims whatever kind committed by Etiopians.
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June 24th, 2008 at 1:39 PM
I totally agree with you Demeke when it comes to marrying African-American women…It is the best thing that ever happend to me when I left most of Ethio (sluts & hoes) women & decided to give it a chance to an African-American women…I don’t why most ethio men are obsessed with ethio women (after all they’re not the only women walking on this earth)
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:18 PM
Such episode is increasing at an alarming rate. There has to be a program in each community about domestic violence, child abuse, ballancing our new discovered rights with humility and good will. The man must understand what is expected of him and the rights of women in the USA. The woman must also understand her role as a pillar of the family, without scaring the husband with a threat of the law.If the husband or boy friend has uttered “I will kill you and kill myself”, even once, the woman must immediately take steps to move out, to change state or have an erx-parte protection. Both must be a contributing couple for their welbeing and the children’s safety. What we should form is a multi-cultural domestic violence prevention center in each city. Contact Ethiopian Centers in each State to form this committee. Also I do not know how to convince them, encourage each city to have a faith based family conflict resolution education after Sunday’s School or Friday’s call to prayer. You should contact your orthodox, protestant or Muslim faith leader to develop a carriculum with American Social work collabortaion to save lives. We can only defeat this problem by combining western methods of counseling with faith based leadership involvement.I have been successfull in my own area, though we had 2 violence related deaths. There is no time for analysis and theses. We have to begin this immediately to save the lives of our families- men, women and children.
Balcha.
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:40 PM
very sad !!!!!! may their soul rest in peace…
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:46 PM
jah love and demeke,,, hi afrcian america are more in criminal than habesha, habesha is diamond , i think you can’t get habesha girl , don’t feel bad pray for god you will get one day hahaha we habesha we can’t live with out habesha ,,,, proud to be habesha
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June 24th, 2008 at 2:56 PM
There are a lot of intersting coments in here. I am sure it is hard if we place ourselves on that position but I don’t believe in killing. Let me share you what I know of one guy. This guy and me live in same city. He is one of the nice guys in the world (education, religion, respect to people and family) that I know. I know his wife very well. she is nice, too, but to outsiders like me not to her husband.
He brought her here to USA and after she got her permanent residence card, she has done a lot of things. The only thing she accused him was ” I was expecting him to have a lot of money but he doesn’t have”. She said I don’t want to live this kind of life. She took the baby for a vacation to ethiopia and left the baby in ethiopia.Then she filed an order of protection against him by accusing him of rape, beating her and their child, and finance.
The judge dismissed the case but she started sending guys to attack him so that he can attack them back to make him look a bad guy to get the custody of the child. He tried his best not commit any crime.
I admire him for what he is doing. So we should learn a lot from a lot of people who are in the situation instead of being a part of crime.
As an advice for those who don’t like their partner for any reason:
1. Let’s discuss our feeling with our partner clearly
2. Let’s ask our friends/shimagle to help us save our
marriage
3. Let’s leave without hurting. Whether you like it or not
you had a good time with her/him at one time
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June 24th, 2008 at 3:19 PM
I know it hard to deal with a lot of our ethiopian ladies but we should learn from each other. We should help eachother in every aspect. If some things comes, we need to talk and solve before it gets worse.
I know killing is not a solution but we need to teach our community: – on how we can solve our differences
– the men not to be agressive
– the women not to over react ( I am sure there
are a lot of woman who picked the western
culture but reacts to their husband in a worse
condition than even the western women do).
– men should advice men on how to be a man
instead of living like old ages
-woman should advice woman on how they can be a
good wife
-Most women are money minded and they should
think about it if they need a healthy family
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June 24th, 2008 at 3:38 PM
Walk away from the relationship. Never kill your significant one. Please Ethiopian men and women have some sense in loving your children. Dont be a widow in jail. Our culture is domestic violence tolerant and needs correction.
For the little kids, it is better to have a prostitute mom than a dead mom.
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:12 PM
SOMETIMES, THE EASIEST WAY TO GET IN TO TROUBLE IS TO BE RIGHT AT THE WRONG TIME!
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:16 PM
To give response to Demeke, african-american women are I guess very hard to deal with than habesha, the only turn on they have is that you don’t have to hassle a lot to get a black american girlfriend but when it comes to Ethiopian women, you have to promise her the world and hassle a lot, lie a lot to make her like you, I am one of the guys who really are tired of habesa girls, specially we the ones who need a serious relationship, we want to love, be loved and get married to our own ethincity for family’s sake, for religion sake or for whatever, our culture is so unique and beautifull that after all the hard work in the west, we need to return back to our country, start a family and become someone while the women we wish to have aspire to become models and actresses, or like the ones they see in Hollywood movies, coming to the US is not a success but a stressful moment of life that pushes you to work hard and runaway, when I first came to the US, I thought I would become like Bill Gates but the fact is that there was no bank account ready for me to use right away and buy Hummer truck or something but what waited for me was a stressful hardwork that I am proud of, I have cleaned, been a cashier, have cried at night being homesick and missing my family, but now, I don’t want any girl, I don’t care how beautiful she is, I don’t want her to cheat me out of my fortune or cheat on me and hurt me, if she is ready to love me and recieve the love I can give her, well and good, otherwise, I better live appeciating hot women we see around and fantasizing about them and live till I finish my contract in this world, love is the best gift in life and specially if God gives you someone you will love forever and who loves you back forever, if not, God forbid. But there are other options than killing, if you are that angry, you can think of something that can make her angry, date another beautiful woman and tell her that you are happy that you guys are separated, nothing makes habesha girl angry than seing her ex with a woman with a better look and if you don’t want a revenge, give it to God and you will be rewarded the best thing ever, whatever that is.
Cheers
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:30 PM
To all the Ethiopian wives in diaspora,
Please read Proverbs 31:10-31.
May the good Lord help you!
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June 24th, 2008 at 4:58 PM
It is a very sad story.This type of story makes couples to be strong and to look back their drawbacks.Evenhough Mesfin’s action is evil ,as same time it is teaching!
Please! Couples,Love should be your basic milestone for marriage not money,fame or beauty!
Let God bless all marriages!Amen!!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 5:09 PM
yes one day i will do it. it is good action for habesh womens.they have a great problem . after they come to USA at any way they think to follow foreign style like sleeping different guys this is leads to lose their on life . I am sure no one kill their on wife.this is her problem.
any way i expect more similar action from habesh guys unless they correct their on behavior
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June 24th, 2008 at 6:29 PM
ሁሉንም ነፍሳዠውን ይማረው..
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:07 PM
Hi Guies, be realistic!
Is it not one of the side-effects of migration. Look, an immigrant can never solve a problem but he can change kinds of problems. So, try to minimize these side-effects and keep these victims in your daily prayers!
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:23 PM
What we have heard so far is that an Ethiopian man has killed his wife in such and such places, but we have never heard the causes of the killing. Can any one tell us why, for example, Bezawit Solomon and Hawlet Mohammed, and other Ethiopian girls were murdered?
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:25 PM
After fifteen years in the US,i went back home to see my relatives there i met beautiful out side deadly in action and unfaithful to me and i got rid of before she come here.Ayear and half after that i went home again and i got married to these lady whom her whole family knows me since i was a kid.I came back here and i started to help her with her collage education.She graduated succesfully and then she told me she don’t want me anymore.I said thank you and i closed the file.So i don’t have to kill her.I’m a man who can find suitable woman anytime i want.Why i have to kill her?Brothers,listen to me,THese to women did very very bad things to me before even they immigrated to the US.To me it’s a about their low level of conciousness.They don’t know who they are,what they are doing,where they are doing and with whom.God have mercy on them.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:26 PM
Marriage is a sacred gift given by God for humane beings. The only one who can guaranty a happy marriage is God. When couples joined in marriage they should know that they are doing their vows in the presence of God. When there are temptations to cheat against a partner one must realize that he or she is breaking the vow with God too. No amount of argument, spying on each other prevents cheating between couples but the fear of God makes oneself to respect his vows. When one decide to marry he or she needs to know first and most to choose a partner who is truly loves and fears God. That way you can guaranty a happy marriage.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:28 PM
I have a wife lived with her for many years without any argument or problem. I don’t try to impose my will on her. She is free to do anythings she want to do. I don’t question what she does as far as she respect the marriage. If she crosses the line, I can’t wait to pack and leave. “Walad Beaderbab Tigba” I don’t see any reason to do such creazey things that makes your life miserable
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:39 PM
gyus if you think your relationship is not working out well please just walk out from it. i think it is such stupid idia to kill your partner.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:41 PM
ዎይ ኑሮ……. እንዲህ ያለ ዘመን….
ሰዉ ከሰዉ የሚባላበት ጊዜ. ያሳዝናል!!!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:04 PM
My advice to my fellow country men would be to rely on the modern technology for those who wants to have kids or adopt one from Ethiopia. And just date. Marriage is no more a working institution especially for those of us who are from a different culture. There are weaknesses from both sexes but the ladies mostly try to learn so fast and miss out a lot of details about western life at the same time.
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:13 PM
በጣም አዘንኩ ልበም ተረሽ ነብስ ይማር
ቤተስብ ጥነት ይስጥ
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June 24th, 2008 at 10:30 PM
MOA, the person who posted his/her comment earlier said it all.
A very thoughtful insight on the matter. THE FEAR OF GOD IS THE ANSWER AND NOTHING ELSE!!!
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June 24th, 2008 at 11:17 PM
I wish i could to do the same, but I learned a powerful word “Forgiveness”. That it is complete and forgetful.
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June 25th, 2008 at 12:27 AM
Hey calm down please come to your mind and all Habesha Women are not difficult but it depends. Don’t judge and generalize us as we are not in good. Guys, be cautious in selecting your partner. Not by photo or through someone that is most dispora problem. You marry or you pick a women from ethiopia just by seeing photo so what do you expect to be good wife or girlfriend for you!? ye Habesa wondoche problem… pray to get good wife rather than collecting the pic. That is your big problem!
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June 25th, 2008 at 1:31 AM
Guys,if things are not working out,just break the marriage.Please Don’t kill your spouse.We know how “Adam” was tolerant on “Hewan”.
#71,Haile-I totally agree with your idea,dating and use appropriate measures and in case there is a need to have kids–Adoption is the best-Killing two birds with one stone-Helping the poor and satisfying your need of having a child.
Beterefe–Please wives do not cheat on your husbands and husbands don’t cheat on your wives.FERIHA EGZEABHERE YIDERBACHIHU!!!!!!!
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:11 AM
it is all in the mind we all must protect owerself from evil mentality by believing in day to day pray and thinking postive with respect to other like youreslf and don’t judge others in the wrong way b/c you will be judge the same way.
the journy of life should be and always in the hand of GOD. my deepest sympathy to all bless you all
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:24 AM
When a man loves his woman he gives all he has but that will never guarantee a return from the woman. She will take what he gives her and think he is a fool. The question is “does she deserve being murdered for taking what he gives her and screwing another? hell no
When that happens what he should do is
1)calculate how many times he had sex with her and multiply it with the amount of dollars he would have paid to a prostite. He should consider her a prostitute. If he does this correctly, he will know that instead of killing her he will end up giving her or owing her more money before he says good bye. Then instead of wasting lives, he will skillfully negotiate to get his debt reduced.
2)When he finds out she is screwing another man, he should know the contract is over and he has his work cut out for him, means he will be free to screw many more beautiful girls and they should be single. No revenge on all women he should be selective.
3) Ethio man should learn from Ethio women, means dont eat kitfo all the time. Eat Soul food, Italian, Chinese, American, Thai, Spanish and so on. The choice is tremendous. Dont confine your self to a claustrophobic relationship. An Ethio man has a boiling blood, therefore; should never sleep on a magma. Again learn from the Ethio girls. They try all kinds before they get married. Though I dont believe mine did. In ONE year an Ethio girl who came from a remote part of Negele Borona dresses and looks like Paris Hilton. An Ethio man should learn to get a nice hair cut, fashionable dress, and adopt the culture. Though I believe it is corrupt and nasty watching some TV to get idea of the corrupt culture may not hurt.
4)Most of all if your significant one ( wife or girl friend) is nice, make sure you treat her with respect and utter love. She will most likely love you back. If you are back ward, agressive, suspicious, and greedy she will not only leave you but you will share the punane with some one else while you are together.
5)A man is a leader. If he cant lead by example he might as well stay single. If his woman doesnt have the confidence to be lead by a good man, he should damp her ass to eternity and let somebody else pick up the trash. He shouldnt get cought burning his own trash.
6)Always dialogue with any one, even a stranger on the bus. Let the steam find an outlet.
7)By any measure a woman by nature can be extreemley sweet and dangerously vicious, therefore; an Ethio man should be aware that he came thousands of miles away to a far land for the betterment of his life and not to be a sweetheart to some faggot in jail. We are talking about 30-40 years of living hell in jail.
8)For the weak mind Ethio man church or mosque will do fine. He should go every sunday friday for muslim. If he doesnt have it the religion will give him wisdom.
9)An Ethio man should love his children to the point of seeing his wife getting f****d and saying well to her children a mother who is a slut is better than a mother who is dead.
10) This has become an epidemic, all Ethio men and women should continue to dialogue on this subject. We should all remember that this and many other ills in our community are the indirect results of the Ethiopian political crisis of 40 years or more, therefore; we should never expect any help from any politicians those in power or out of power. We as a community should check on friends and relatives and try to nurture the culture of openess.
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:47 AM
Apart from Berhan some of you see nothing wrong in killing and that taking someone’s life is of the same gravity as cheating grow up, if you wife or husband cheats on you either divorce them or if you cant live without them stay,but killing is wrong and as Berhan said the DEAD WOMEN are the VICTIMS and their husbands murderers and anyway what did they get out of killing their wives? they are going to jail for a long time, they are murderers as well as fools, what do they think it is is going to happen to them in jail? they only created more misery for themselves.
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June 25th, 2008 at 3:36 AM
This is a said thing for any one to have to go through. I always tell my children and grandchildren no matter how long you have known someone that still does’t mean that you know what they will and will not do because you are not in their brain. It is very painfull for someone to kill another person or harm them in any way.Iv’e had a loved one in my family to be killed before and it was very painful. Some people just can’t walk away and get out of tha person’s life and go on with their own life. To loose a parent is painful but when someone kill them you always want to know why oh! you do want them to tell you why if they do not kill them self. Some people are very mean they seam like they were brought into this world to make other people’s life miserable. Some don’t want to use any manner’s that they might know.It is more pleasant to say good things to others than to just have a frown 0n your face and to be mean to them. When some father’s kill a child’s or children’s mother they have the nerve to want one of his own family member’s to bring that child or children to the jail to see them. He should rot in jail.
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June 25th, 2008 at 3:39 AM
Instead of judging these individuals, try to learn the root cause of the problem. I do not know these men and their wives. However, I was forced to be in the same position of as these men in 2006. It because of Maryland’s Gun Law, that my x breathing and walking on this earth. I do not condone any form of violence and advocated for peace through out my life. However, you will never know how it feels until you are in that position. I was prompt to take such action because the woman I was married too a woman who put my kids through an agonizing experience in order to harm me emotionally. This peace of garbage and her shoddy lawyer did everything possible to turn my life upside down. When people are angry and upset, they do the unthinkable. This is what they call temporary insanity. I thank God that Maryland have the Gun Law that it has. It is easy to see things from the outside and blame people. It is only when one walks in someone else’s shoes that one can feel the agony of that person. So stop judging these people and try to make a difference by trying to change the legal system that puts so many men and women in such position.
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June 25th, 2008 at 3:47 AM
When you are unable to conform to the Western Style of life (which you should do if you live in the West)and want to dwell upon the Ethiopian mentality of controlling and treating your wife like a dog and look at her shoulder all the time, better file a divorce and let go your marriage quietly for chances are, once Ethiopian women set their feet in the West, they began to inhale the air of freedom and more quickely adopt the new life style than the men who still want to hold on to, which I may call, the old remote control whose push button is jelousy. Thats when the problem starts. Remember, in a society where sheer necessity no longer obliges couples to stick together, love gets colder and gives way to independence be it morally, materially or emotionaly and the result of which often times is ugly. Better to let your wife alone to the mercy of her concious than burning in the sea of jelousy and turning yourself into a murderer. Or apply the old remedy “Eshohin Be Eshoh” and get over your anger.
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June 25th, 2008 at 7:24 AM
Folks:
Don’t commit your own side of the “crime” by overgeneralizing and stereotyping from few cases in to an all encompassing actitvities by trying to state that all Ethiopian men are being prone to killing crimes while Ethiopian women are prone to cheating and dishonesty crimes, thereby attracting hell on themselves.
These explanations are mainly in our heads rather than in the situatons on the ground.
Besides, we don’t need to be the police, the prosecutor, the judge and the hangman, all at the same time.
The law of the land must investigate and on the bais of suffiecient evidences pass its expert legal judgemnet.
Let us leave our great urge for the public stoning of the alleged criminals but try to understand the cause and the solutions while helping and providind mentally, financially, socially and in spiritual contributions to the management and solution of these individually and collectively traumatic perhaps rising pheneomena.
It is a disgrace to put the pictures of these people publicly on forums and public medias because our duty nneds to be for reintegration of “wrongdoers” back in to the society and community but not for excommunication away from the society and community like in the medieval times of darkness.
I am not a practicing religious person, but if I remeber correct, even during Jesus’s time over 2000 years ago, some people of his time were gathering and watching when a woman was eagerly washing Jesus Christ’s feet and noticed that the woman was some one publicly defined as sinful.
As Christ’s feet washing was still going on, some of the spectators approached Jesus and angrily demanded an explanation from him as to why he dares to accept such a service from a known siner.
“Let any one from among you who believes and feels is completely sinless, lift a stone and throw at the this women.” was Christ’s alleged response. As a result, no body dared to take the law in to his/her hand and stone the woman washing Christ’s feet.
I am sure such stories may exist almost in all religious philosophies and writings.
Involve community associations and enlightened multicultural social workers and handle the problems before it gets of hand.
Establish and train neutral and voluntary conflict mediation groups that settles communal and family conflicts in an impartial and confidential manners.
If registered immigrant associations establish such conflict mediation projects, certainly they can get good fundings both from the government and nongovernmental organizations because it saves even the whole society from such heart breaking rising tragedies.
The worst thing that can happen is that minorities and immigrants turn against each other both as communities and families instead of getting together, supporting each other, empowering and going forwards in unity and claim their place in the society.
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June 25th, 2008 at 8:03 AM
You are out of your mind to get involved seriously with any Abesha woman who has been in the diaspora (Especially north America) for more than 3 yearst.
If there ever was a culture that destroys the feminine gender permanently and irreverseably, it is this culture. The subtle and daily mind manipulation, creates a self obsessed, self absorbed, intolerant individuals very quickly.
It is heart breaking and astounding to watch the transformation of our women from a kind, decent, dignified and loving person towards the typical north American women just in a matter of few years.
And this change makes most Abesha women incompatable with the typical Abesha guy creating a psychological divide and we quickly drift away from each other.
In reality, most abesha women are not better off economical than their brothers. They carry on low paying service jobs years after years with no prospect and very few would ever would match their husbands or boyfriends income level. And for the most case, they still are dependent directly or indirectly on their spouses.
So what has changed? it is their attitude and not their social responsibility that has adopted. In play English, it is all talk and no action. They want the freedom without the responsibilities that comes with it.
And finally, as crude as it may sounds, here is an advise to all abesha women who think f**king the white man or the brown man as a sign of social progress. It is not. Men are dogs they will simply screw anything weather she is Ethiopian or Martian for than matter. But I bet you, he will not stick around long enough to see you grow old and lovely!
And that is where we come in to clean up the mess left behind, in your past. Why do we put up with it? Because, no matter what and no matter where, you are still our sisters!
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June 25th, 2008 at 9:28 AM
Here is a concept for Ethiopian men, YOU DON’T OWN YOUR WOMEN! YOU MAY NOT KILL HER FOR ANY REASON!
Look murder happens in any society its not the first time and it won’t be the last for Ethiopians to kill. However, we’ve got to face it, Ethiopians (regardless of ethnicity) have very grim opinions of women. How dare she does bla, bla, bla…… zeraf, zeraf! If she cheats on you, she talk back to you, or you don’t like how she is dressing, leave her and move on with your life. You have no right to kill anyone.
We keep hearing these sad stories over and over and some of you are trying to explain it away. New flash Ethiopian women WORK too. If she stays at home to raise her kids, its a choice you make together. That is unpaid labor, so what if you support her family back home? does that mean you have the right to kill her??? NO!
and please don’t make a ignorant ass stereotypical comment about African American or other ethnic group. How do you know if these women were cheating? If so, what makes you think its AA exclusively??? and more importantly don’t make that ignorant ars comment that AA don’t work! vast majority do. Good God, this is why I avoid reading comments on these articles. Some of them are down right embarrassing!
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:06 AM
I am not surprised to hear such kind of things are happening in our community. I used to be a very quite devoted person in life,but by getting married to a wrong person i turned up to be an angry and frastrated person because of the attitude,the misunderstanding,the disrespect………. of my exwife. I am glad to be out of that relationship for the sake of myself and my son.Although still i am affected to establish a new relationship because of the bad exprience i had in the past,generaly i am doing very well with my life.So guys don’t hurry up to get married is not worth it.
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Some of these women do not deserve to be wives or they are not/will not be/ fit for marriage. They prefer to make their beauty and flesh available in the market for the ‘best’ or ‘highest’ bidder. These are not only women but flesh selling whores. But they don’t deserve to be callously killed. Not at all. And I am not saying that these particular victims were such unworthy ones. But what I am saying is the evident truth. Look what our women are mostly doing in the Middle East and Europe (possibly here too). A man I know who had lived in one those conservative countries once told me what those Arab men were telling him when they had a fit for sex. They used to say to him: ‘I am horny; Let me go and find a Habasha, ‘Ethiopian’ women. Whose fault is this? Someone used to blame Haile Selassie for every thing. The Derg came and more such women were made available to a sex hungry market. It continues unabated to this day. Stop blaming systems and governments for such filthy behavior. Stop selling yourself. Follow the footsteps of great roll model women such as Yodit Imiru, Sinidu Gebru and Likelush Beyan.
In the meantime, they should put these coward and barbarous killers on the fryer until they smoke to oblivion. Or just drop them in middle of Mogadishu streets alone dressed up in the Ethiopian military uniform.
Elias, please make sure this posted.
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June 25th, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Well, as my name clearly indicates I am a man, and a man of principle for that matter.
I don’t simply know the exact cause or causes of these particular tragedies, but from the comments of my male comentators, (eg. #86. Tesfaye) one can clearly conclude the fact that many of these Ethiopian male categories are not at all self aware and self conscious about the fact that they are carrying their back home traditional cultural and value baggages of patriarchalism, male primacy and masculine domination, where man is a head of the family and as such is entitled to the monopoly of self serving decision makings on behalf of the entire family. That might work in the so called masculine culture and traditions.
Most of the western countries and cultures are the so called feminine cultures upholding equality in genral and beween genders in particular.
Crying like a baby for the good old back home days where a man’s word is a rule and rule upholds peace, tranquility and family harmony is a lost cause. Here your wife, girl friend, daughter, or any other female possesses as much equality, security, benefits, liberties, freedoms of speech, and control over her spiritual and material resources. That is her absolute right that the male category needs to know and live with it. If you are aware, negotiate and accept the new equality of women you might just live very pleasant, rich and happy life even if you are not the family boss having the familiar right to the last word.
To think that men must isolate their wives or girl frieds from the empowering and democratic feminist surounding is to try to live a fairy dream world that does not exist any more.
What we may request from our female partner or would be partner is only understanding of our back ground and giving us men ample time for transition from patriarchal authoritarianism to equality, democratic and negotiated joint family decision making based on respect and mutual understanding.
Let the women face and interact actively with her surounding, study, work, have lesure times, control over her own personal matters and help the family.
Nothing is wrong with it except the mens’ lack of self confidence, self trust and desire to isolate and dominate the poor woman in their relationship. The relationship can also put to the necessary democratic test of freedom and if it can outlast such new tests it may easily last for ever.
Well, the situation is even worse among some Middle Eastern and South Asian communities where afmilies often murder their own daughters and female categories in cold blooded master crime claiming about broken “HOUNOUR.” or “HONOUR MURDER.”
Thanks mother nature we are not there yet!
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June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 PM
Poverty contributes. May be I am wrong. No…No…I’m right. It is better to think the other way round. On the side of the victims rather than the side of the murderers .The victims need a behavioural change not to be victims. Most of Our ladies became so materialist. May be I’m wrong. No…No..I’m right. They (most of them) take dealing with foreigners or rich people as a life time opportunity bze of their poor extended family. You can’t help it once they developed a poor mind. We should think and be committed to work the other way round. On the side of the victims not to be victims. There is no single justification by any standard to commit murder, I agree. After all life is too short murderers plze take time to run other applications. “When one door is closed the other will be opened”.
Semunigus
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June 25th, 2008 at 1:25 PM
People can find other avenues to get out of their problems/anger. NOTHING can justify killing of a human being!…oh, may be we can only realize that if the victim is our family member/relative.
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:38 PM
People, WAKE-UP!!!!!!!! Killing is not the solution!!!!! NOTHING is worth spending the rest of your life in prison. No matter what happens (Cheating, whatever……..) it’s not worth life in prison!! Shake it off and move on!
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June 25th, 2008 at 3:03 PM
Every one need to see these news very seriously. It is not about judgement but the NAKED FACT CONCEALED IN SUCH EVENTS.
No one has an original plan to hurt anyone, not to mention wives. How a man hurt his wife? Simple. She make him kill her. Some of us swalloed it. We swalloed our anger and rather get our ulcers and name more diseases, which men ‘prized’ as a result of wicked women.
I caughtmy’wife’-mother of my children, with a men.She didn’t have the patient to wait weeks. I passed it. She continued…it took me over a year to make her understand what she was doing was a ‘sin’. She was flying.It took me, prayers, meditating, reading & refering the result of such out comes in order to control my sorrow.
Finally I decided to sacrifice my life by forgiving and continuing living with her for the love of my children and for the ‘life’ of my ‘fool’wife. In the mean time our siciety was obssed in cheap gossips rather than finding out a means to support our rehab.
So please sisters do not cheap yorself. Keep your dignity. Men: ran away if you can’t forgive.
To this end I can not see any deep reason than sexual abuse for a men to hurt his life partner. And Jesus says if so Divorce. But remember, God is more joyfull if you Forgive her. If you can’t, there is no burden on you. Just go, you will come across with the better one. But if you have children…you are already surrounded. It is so complex.
But women it is in your hand pls pls…
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June 25th, 2008 at 4:09 PM
Killing is imoral and crime at its best. My Habesha brothers, its safe and wise to get out of marriege without a single crime. We East African people have ample opportunities of marriage to a half of our age from back home. My advise goes this way,
1) When you get out of one marriege, don’t panic and commit the damb things. Your life for better, and most beautiful relations just opened for you. Its the beginning of your best moment to look for good Ethiopian girl.
2) Good girl criteria is a girl that was not born in Addis ABABA, have never grown in and around light life of Addis Ababa.
3) Go to your parents birth village out in the country, where clean and hard working families raise adorable daughter. There check out and approach them via old methods and ask her and her parents. I assure you many such families die to give their daughters hand to a western educated an Ethiopian man.
4) Once you get the privilage of finding your pricess, respect her, don’t expose her to corrupt cultures adore her and her family, for your life would be less complicated, the less you expose her to western orgies.
5) Whatever you do stay away from a girls that were born and raised in Addis Ababa for they have an expriences that may cut your careers and life too short!
6) Be very honest to your spause and speak frank when you’ve to. Never commit adultry while in marriage.
7) Never marry western educated or grown Ethiopian woman for she is fully corrupt to stay within our tradition.
8) Whatever you do, never abuse your spause, nor be abused by her, and get out in amicable way if you suspect abuse.
9) Love yourself and those around you and go extra mile to prove it.
10) Go to church if you got moments and help those who need your assistances at every level.
If you are loyal to God, so as your households and your traubles would end before it begins.
May God help everyone who are hurting, its sad to see so many Abaworas destroy their loves and themselves.
Remember, Ethiopian beauties are abundant back home go and choose and pick one that is uncorrupt. Love her as Abraham loved Sarah and have beautiful children.
This is my take on this social issue. I did face divorce with no fault of mine and went and got the most beautiful and rewarding wife way away ! from Addis Ababan life style. We are into our eleven years, and she was Avirgin and she is a queen of my life. I jump and do anything for her. Yes, she is less than half of my age, she does need more sexual needs I plan and do it to steaming point, if you know what I mean.
Million Ethiopian beauties can show up, nothing as perfect as my wife exists in Ethiopia or anywhere else this world.
I make her very comfortable to express herself in any disagreements, rarely when it happens. She trust me and I trust her with all my assests.
Things do happen to us as we cross oceans we still can manage our angers, affairs if we put our best thoughts to it.
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June 25th, 2008 at 5:50 PM
Although i don’t know the real facts of these incidents,i can guss that how things get out of hand in a difficult relationship. I am glad i am not one of these guys.I can speak from my exprience that from being quite,gentle,respectfull and hardworking man,i become angry,frustrated and hopeless during my marriage time because of a difficult wife.I have been thrown out of my house because she had the upper hand im front of the law.I am very happy and healthy person again because i am out of that relationship,even my 6 years old son has benefited a lot because of the break up.
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June 25th, 2008 at 6:31 PM
Fellas U ain’ have heaven or hell to put them after yo judgment … so don’ judge !
RIP Ms.Mohammed …
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June 25th, 2008 at 7:24 PM
life is very short lets not bleam it on gender… if ethopian womens are becaming americanized let them be dont go and kill them we are trying to leave the AMerican Dream … we all know how we got hear so lets leave it .. happy life and keep our standreds that sperate as form others which is loving and caring for eachother .
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June 25th, 2008 at 7:51 PM
This is so hard to understand. I was your friend Bezawit, and now you has been killing for NO REASON!!!!! You was the best person, and I will miss you so much. I remember when I see you the last time on the train, you was on the way home…to a home where your own husband killed you. I will miss you, Bezawit <3 Rest in Peace.
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June 25th, 2008 at 8:08 PM
It is so abhorring to read most of the postings on these tragic stories. Thanks for people like #85 & #88 there are still some Ethiopians with some sense left which keeps me going. It is sad that most of us see things just in two colors.
Most tried to sympathize the men by justifying why these murders are taking place – that our women are Westernized (Well Obama said “Change” -if you are still trapped in the past, it is about time to question yourself on what you are doing wrong as it is always easy to point fingers at others); they are not making enough money ripping off the poor man (no one is twisting your arm to do that, get out of the relationship if you feel a woman is taking advantage of you – anyways that is what you get if you try to buy love with money) and besides I don’t know in which part of the world you live in most of the women I know work their ass off or take care of their children at home which unfortunately isn’t considered as “work”; dating other non-Ethiopian black men(which is none of your business -a woman has a right to choose who she wants to be with. I can go on and on.
If you are not happy, just move on, get over it. How hard is that? I am sure it is much easier that taking someone’s life. Killing is not justified by any means. It doesn’t do you or the victim any good. You will suffer all the consequences that comes after it – serve prison time probably for the rest of your life and never have a peace of mind b/c no one has a right to take away a life that God created.
Love, respect and forgiveness is the key. We all have ups and downs in life. Nothing new, it is just how we deal with it. Don’t take your marriage or relationship for granted. I think that is what it is. If you cherish what you have, God blesses it. May God gives us all his guidance.
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June 25th, 2008 at 8:45 PM
Hi every one, this is just another shocking tragedy in our community. I don’t think we should blame women for this terrible tragedy. Two wrongs don’t make one right. If you kill your loved one, thinking you will get away with it in this country, think again. You are wrong. You will also die an agonizing death in prision. No one has any right to kill thier spouses. That is why we have a divorce court.We need to educate our community to first of all seek psychological help, when there is martial problem of any kind. We need to take care of each other. It is ok to get divorce and get married as many times as you wish. You don’t have to be from Holly Wood……….God bless Ethiopians.
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June 25th, 2008 at 9:43 PM
I think the problem with most Ethiopian marriages is communication. Our culture and experience do not let the couples to communicate properly and hence there is a dozen of misunderstanding. However, there is no way the husband should murder his wife. I really see the from spiritual point of view and if the devil who is a killer is working behind the spirit of the husband, the husband will excercise the devil’s (killer’s) behavior and will kill his wife. People possessed by devil are mentally sick and controlled by this killer. One has to, therefore be born again and be a christian and receive Christ into his life as a life-giving spirit. I advise all husbands and wifes to receive Christ in to your marriages before any evil thing happens in your house.
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:41 PM
I conquer with many that said there is a cultural angel to the story. Many Ethiopian men, especially those from chauvinistic background, when hit with adversities don’t know how to cope. It is also true many Ethiopian women who come from an oppressive and dominant men culture seem to lose all their decency when faced with freedom. When this two extremes meet it is like pouring gasoline on hay. That seems to be the case here. May God cleanse our soul to be good people.
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:41 PM
I agree completely with Tesfa’s suggestion. Only Christ can save us from evil things. Let’s all live in Him. No matter what a good person you are, you will find yourself doing something wrong. Christ is the only solution for this, man.
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:45 PM
Hey Ethiopians!
What is really wrong with our people. I know that life is not easy. It has lots of ups and downs, but we have to prepare to face all in our life. What ever the victims did, I do not think that killing for wrong doing ios the solution. Why are these peoples destroy their own lives. There is always a better solution and there is always a bettr future for all of us. When we loos some one we love it might seems that our life is over, but it is not there is always a life, a better life. So please my friends both men and women, lets try to tolerate and think our future. THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY AND A BETTER FUTURE.
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June 26th, 2008 at 3:00 AM
I feel very sorry about our Habesha men and understand how to you suffer and unable to handel the ladies behaviours. I am a lady and have brothers, friends at aborad and worried very much about them and all Ethiopians too. Please please don’t take this is a means, killing your wives..that is killing yourself. Why? divorce is the right means. I read it all the comments, but all fingers targeted us(women). I advised you sisterly please please don’t do..leave her and live your life. Really I am very sorry.we,ethiopians, have own culture,reglgion and have good ethics so what happen these days? ladies, why you creat terrible situation? why you attack your husband? specially our men needs respect as we grew up like this..just be wife! respect your home, repect your husband, live as an Ethiopians not western type.whatever you educated? A wife is a wife, means respect each other..Habesoche–pls go to Church and pray to get peace. If you have free time, Please pass your time by reading bible and talking about GOD. EBAKACHU! we are Ethiopians…TWADEDU/ TFAKERUE…EBAKACHU..ATGEDADALEU..THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT WAY–PLEASE–PLEASE
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June 26th, 2008 at 3:35 AM
Let us get our facts straight. We have no idea what happened in these cases all we know is the end results. Accusation is not evidence of wrong doing. We are entitled to our opinions but not to our facts. All of us seem expressing our frustration based on our own experience. Some have expressed opinion that makes sense and some have stated nonsense. Unfortunately, such things are rare in the Ethiopian community. The women, who express their opinion regarding Ethiopian men backwardness and not adopting the “Western” way of life fast, should be reminded the cases of Scott Peterson, another Peterson in Colorado, O.J Simpson, the Marine, in North Carolina, the shooting and wounding in California and of course the DC sniper, in a desire to kill his x-wife who end up killing several innocent people. Thus, the accusation that Ethiopian men are killing their significant others because of their “Third World Mentality” is baseless.
For my Ethiopian sisters who think that disrespecting your man is “Civilization” I ask them to think again. The majority of Western women respect their marriage and their men. If you want to remain independent do not get married. Marriage is giving oneself to another person. The problem usually is not men trying to dominate women, but women trying to be mothers of their men. Domestic Violence and murder is not Ethiopian specific, it is universal. It happens more within the American Community and has nothing to do with backward mentality and civilization; it has everything to do with anger management. As an individual who worked with several immigrant communities in late 80s and early 90s, I am aware how those of us who came from third world countries try to cling on our right without fulfilling our obligations. Women have rights even in Ethiopia, but they have no right to disrespect their marriage and their men. Ethiopian men are not threatened by the independence of their women, but marriage is threatened by women who do not understand that there is no independence after marriage. Marriage means giving up your independence.
Civilization does not mean lying to authorities when you want to inflict harm on your significant other, nor does it mean to subject him to an emotional abuse. As an individual who was falsely accused of Domestic violence, I am familiar with what Ethiopian women are capable of in abusing the system and how the use and abuse the term ABUSE. Several of you say people just should walk away. But, walk away from what? Knowing that my wife committed adultery, I stayed with her for five years for the sake of my children. I did not want my children to grow up in a divorced family. My X-wife who was a housewife could not even make time to cook a decent food for our children. One time, foolish of me, asked why she does not make time to cook a decent food for our kids, her response was “I AM NOT YOUR MAID”. Believe it or not, I did not respond. God gave me the patience of Job (Eyob). It is long and difficult to express what I went through (Read The Aborted dream when it comes out in mid July). This woman used to call a police in advance and try to push my button to make me angry. She was expecting me to react with violence. Fortunately, my patience prevailed. I had to live in my own home using audio tape for two month so I can have evidence that I did not do any thing to her. After 8 years of marriage and after five years of excruciating mental anguish, I decided to leave her.
I wish the so called “Civilized Ethiopian Women” learn from the Americans. American Women respect their marriage and their men. They know their rights and their obligations. They know their right does not give them the right to abuse their men emotionally. It is not civilization to assume freedom means SEDENET. Freedom has boundary. When it comes to marriage freedom does not mean to do what ever you want to do; because what you do affects the marriage and your partner. The mentality that I am an independent women, I do not want to be dominated by a man, so on so forth, is a mentality created by the feminist movement and by men who are unfortunately trapped in women’s body. I also like to express my disagreement with those who said no one has a right to take any ones life; this is naïve at best; sometimes killing someone could be a way to save your own life- are we familiar with the term “Self defense”.
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June 26th, 2008 at 4:13 AM
please Ethiopians! we need to keep our built-in cultures and forms. we sometimes misuse the so called modernization.
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June 26th, 2008 at 8:41 AM
I am very sorry about what has happened. Let me advise the husbands and wives here. Husbands: try to understand your wives and you need to know that they need your love. Husbands should love wives as Christ loves the church. Love is something the wives need from husbands. Wives: Respect your husbands. Sara’s who was Abraham’s wife live with her husband calling her husband “my lord”. So, you need to respect them. Husbands are the heads of the house. This is true in Ethiopia and also in the US. Don’t look these white American wives. They are completely different from us. Their background, their culture and their style of life are different from our ways of living. We these two things fulfilled, our marriages will be blessed. But, if any arugment happens, each of the couples is expected to just withdraw himself/herself from the scene and do something else. I am sure if one withdraws, the other might still continue to shout and speak loud in anger, but because there is no any response from the other side, this one will stop shouting and this way the argument will end.
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June 26th, 2008 at 10:37 AM
#84 guest 123
Thanks my friend, you have put it clearly i can’t add any more.But for those people who are saying “get out of that relationship and get over it” things are not such easy to get out from a complicated relationship,always you tried to fix up things and even you don’t think worst things can happen to your family,specialy if you have got a children you want to stay in that complicatedt relationship for the sake of the children and most of the time your sacrifice and commitment will be seen as your weakness and you will be pushed more in to the corner untill you get snap.After all these things happened when you are out of that relationship they want you back again because most of the things which they took it for granted is gone.
women women women sorry not all
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June 26th, 2008 at 10:39 AM
I am responding specifically to T.Samuel’s long writings. I do agree with many of your points regarding marriage and its boundaries. Having respect to one another and most importantly to remeber to treat your loved one or any one else, “the way you want to be treated”. But I do not agree with your statement “Marriage means, giving up your independence” I think marriage is keeping your independence and compromising on important things that will benefit both parties”. The other point, that I disagree with T. Samuel is killing is never justified unless an itruder comes into your house from the outside. Killing your wife or your husband because you are angry is totally outrageous and selfish behaviour. Just remeber, what ever you wish to do on this earth, you will live the rest of your life with the consequences. You will not walk away free. Just get help before it is too late. God bless us all.
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June 26th, 2008 at 7:53 PM
Wow….what a thread..my heart goes out to the families of the deceased women. But guys please let’s be clear here. Do not generalize all women living in the west. We have well educated married women here; it’s not like only men are bread winners. I know men staying home and taking advantage of their wife’s comfortable salary. Women work hard whether educated or not. One thing Ethiopian men should realize is marriage is 50/50. Please don’t expect your wife to carry most of the load, put the remote control down and help. The time for “only men” to be a bread winner is long gone….give us women some break.
RIP MY ETHIOPIAN SISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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June 26th, 2008 at 10:01 PM
THANK YOU SIS TIZITA !!!!!!!!! you right its all about pure love !!!!
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June 26th, 2008 at 11:21 PM
Do not blime the Ethiopian women, you guys stop spending time at the bar at night why your women is at home with the children. You said I do not have a wife even though you do. Just for 5 munit thing you lose your wife and you children, what happend to the good guys who help there family? Just think with your head not with your penis!
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June 27th, 2008 at 3:00 AM
Well here we come with sad story. Where does the core reson lie to have all these shocking news and incidences? How could not we become rational to deal with things smothely? There are a number reasons rooted to each one of us. We really need to question ourselves morally rooted questions such as: why do we really need friendship? How we approach others? Especailly, the ethiopian diaspora need to remember how the top officials in the USSR were dealing with Stalin during the 2nd world war. When they went to the parliamentary office where Stalin is residing they first see his eyes, face, and body justure movements to identify his mood for the day. As we all know, since he was one of the old devil guys, his mood is so transient that no body tracks it. In order to make their day a day, they will use his mood to behave the whole day as him and go home. All these are for the sake of living their fake life. If we coorelate this scenario to us, I guess there are zillion people who run their life like that. Guess what is going to happen when the reality comes out….killing…murdering…all sortt of social crime. That being said, I really advice all Ethiopias….please be aware your environment very precisely…try to win the system and live a better life…don’t seek a bridge to make your life better…when establishing friendship, don’t come with hidden formulas…try to build formulas together instead…we all knew that no one is winner or loser in life as we all end up going to the same spot sooner or latter. Be clean inside…don’t try to taste an orange without peeling it…learn and enjoy the journey of peeling it instead. Thanks!!
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June 27th, 2008 at 11:14 AM
Our sisters are spoiled so quick by the western culture and are creating a problem that will bring a very bad consequents which remains being a tragedy for their families and for the people who nows them,this is what had happened in Manchester between two Ethiopian partners both killing each other and living latter their nine years daughter to report the event for a police .Let us try to be submissive for our husbands.
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June 27th, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Habsh
what are you talking about. No matter what happens no one deserves to die. Man like you make me sick, “women should be submissive” you are out of you mind, it is man like you that commite this kind of hanes crimes.
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June 27th, 2008 at 4:26 PM
አይ ምን አይነት ስዎች ሆን
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June 27th, 2008 at 4:35 PM
Everyone has a reason to do anything, but Killing is never been a solution.
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June 27th, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Im just shocked about the whole thing. Yafet did a horrible thing and what a man should do is to turn himself afterall she was his wife and no matter what they’ve done no one deserves to be murdered this way!!!
This person left her bleeding and shouting for help. this is just evil!!!!!
I don’t have any understanding for his situation…there was another way out. one could just walk away!!!
Yafet this is really devilish of u just to disappear like this how are u gonna live with ur self!!!helvetes mann!!!
R.I.P Beza may God bless your soul
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June 28th, 2008 at 10:30 AM
This message is to Habesh-3, you shoud have probably said, let us be submissive to one another. There is no place in this society for men to be arogant and incortol all the time. Our fathers did it wrong in the past. It is never ok to kill anyone, regardless of the anger and anguish, the victims impose on the killer’s mind. Watch out Habesha men and women, if you kill, your going to jail here on earth, and you will most likely go to hell, when you leave this earth. You are violating one of the most important ten commandments, “thou shall not kill”. When life seems out of control, open your bible or Kuran and start meditating. Things will go back to normal again. Use all the resources you have around you, people, nature, animals or anything that will distract your mind………..
Peace to my Habesha people.
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June 28th, 2008 at 1:32 PM
It could be about the Clash Of Civilization Theory. But more likely its not a scenario of (economically) dependend wifes.
People tend to paint in black and white and to ask for a big reason behind.
Both people were well educated. View the single case and also the social background and their 18 squaremetres (family/student) home. Religion is blending people since their books make it easy forgive all sins if you just ask frankly. Many abesha killers seem to be active church members.
My heart is with Bezawits Family…
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June 28th, 2008 at 3:01 PM
pray,pray and pray that’s all we need.
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June 28th, 2008 at 5:54 PM
its amazing a considerable number of males that have thus far posted comments have a lot to say about the ways in which our women “have lost their sense of identity”. Being Ethiopian is no exception to the common pitfalls of western culture , sure we have our traditions but we women do not come here to continue the ways of our stagnant, submissive, and inactive lifestlye of being a stay at home “wife”. Please acknowledge the fact that EVEN in our own calender , we ARE in the year 2000. Times change, and more importantly, our roles in society, in relationships changes as well. These women fell victim to their partner’s rage and suffered consequently because their actions inevitably touched on the most insecure and sensitive nature of the Ethiopian man. The fact that you think that your woman would NEVER and should never cheat on you.
Fact
Women seek other men usually because there;s something lacking in their current relationship. if you’re not engaged intellectually, emotionally , and spiritually with your woman, if you don’t have the utmost respect for autonomy, then my friend, you’re fucked. Because she will find someone else to fulfill those needs and more. And please don’t even hate on our African American partners, its not just the sex (albeit amazing), its about finding a progressive, understading,nurturing, communicating, passionate man that makes us happy. So all you Ethiopian men that think that these women somehow “deserved” or asked for this, check yourselves.
-An Abesha woman.
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July 16th, 2008 at 8:49 PM
I am really sorry and sad to see an ethiopian man killed his wife. please let us think my people there is always other solution to our problem that we face in our lives…so killing is never a solution!
as i read all of ya said here in this page..it’s all true. All of u here shared what u though was right and wrong.I personaly think that this days there are too many problems in our lives than if we were to live back in ethiopia so WE HAVE GOT TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD. the world we are living right not is very distracting for men and women in general.
so all of habesha women and man please think hard before u get involved with someone cuz if u don’t it might me hard to get out later on!
GOD IS LOVE AND PLEASE LET’S LOVE AND CARE FOR EACHOTHER.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS
MAY GOD BLESS AND REST IN PEACE THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY IN THIER LOVED ONES HAND BY MISTAKE.
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July 24th, 2008 at 6:21 PM
There is no justification for murder. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE. PERIOD. I cannot believe we are sitting here debating over what aspects of an Ethiopian woman want to make her husband kill her, what makes her annoying or what might be the ok reason as to why she was killed. CAN WE STOP LABELING HER AS AN ETHIOPIAN HOUSE WIFE and start looking at her like a human being?????
maybe she could have learned to changed her ways, maybe she could have grown, maybe she could have gave her life to Jesus fully (or he) and she could have changed slowly. BUT WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
PEOPLE PLEASE STOP UNDERVALUING YOURSELF, AND UNDERVALUING MY PEOPLE.
This is a simple homicide case. Its of a human being. A woman who had a loved ones,dreams, hopes and future, a man who had the same. Several lives were shattered in the event.
There is forgiveness, but please, do not try and justify it. You will be reasoning with insanity.
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November 16th, 2008 at 7:44 AM
I agree with some of the guys who blame Ethiopian Women for this kinds of unusal horefic crime. for us,it is rarely hanpen or hear when we were in Ethiopian, i think one of the reason to lead men to commite this kinds of crime is the women’s overfonfident attitude and useles civilazation. As the other guy indicated, black, white and other races constantly,tells them you are so cute. Sould be a model. u this kind of staf and Our women take this very seriouly.I do not blame the other people when they compaire with African American women, they are little bit cute but when go back to ethiopia and see them, another story. They forget where came from and became easily victems. They have to remember one thing, they are not that prety!!! they are ok.The bottom line is killing is not the solution.Guys do not be stupid.You want to spen the rest of your life for injail? injail in US? Think about it?
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November 26th, 2008 at 10:26 AM
RIP its sad story its a cruel thing to do but please this is not debate classs leave the judgment to god we ethiopians i don’t know what our goal is it seems we are outside our homeland to learn how to use guns and knifes to hurteach other where is the love is the question where is the forgiveness the only thing we sould do is pray we might be the victims tmorrow so lets not judge anybody without knowing anything.this is not the first crime we have seen b/n ethiopians i really don’t know killing is not the answer she is so young gin eko ma god this is so scarey.wey gud
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March 20th, 2009 at 6:20 AM
What is driving these men to murder their wives?
stress-hell no
love-hell no
-jealousey-hell no
so we don’t know
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March 20th, 2009 at 6:23 AM
I had plan to do similar on my grilfriend but thanks to God I given her red card and separated with her without any demage. I personally saw that Ethio grils are dreaming to get money instead of love. This is not good and they finally fall in trash. But God will punish them for their adultery
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February 9th, 2010 at 9:43 PM
First: Killing your partner is wrong and I never would. I am native (white) Norwegian. I was married to a ethiopian woman for 6 years. It is amazing to see how many Ethiopian men who think the same as me about ethiopian women coming to the west. My ex totally changed after granted a resident permit. She totally disrespected me, making me feel like a maid leaving me home with the child while working 24/7 to spend all money for herself. I tried to treat her nice (holidays, restaurants, gifts and so on), but she just took advantage of me. She made me pay everything and saved her money for herself. Never took mee anyplace, invited me to a movie or somthing, like the western women she likes to become does with their men. When I met her she coudnt even speak englis, had never seen a computer, was working in a restaurant as a waiter for 50 Birr/month. Here in Norway she makes 50 000 USD/year and did not even want to buy bread for our son. When I met here I was a poor student, and she knew very well. A few yars later I make more than 100 000 USD/Year. I found out that she has many seacret boyfriends in Norway, USA and in Ethiopia. So I left that gold digger bi”tch. My mind goes to alll the ethiopian men who experienced those a”sholes
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June 28th, 2010 at 7:13 PM
I understand that I shouLd have written the latest contribution a long time ago. When this article was “fresh”. But if you catch up with this tread Moderator, i WILL BE GLAD. Such importan issue and nerv of the Ethiopian commmunity cutting edge realism should not be forgotten. Ethiopians in diaspora faces an immidiate threat due to culture. Awearism to the issue should be adressed to the Habesha fathers rising their most precoius belowed doughters in the west. The fatal consecuence of ending up like lonely-wannabe-model-mothers rising kids in the western society is devestating. Just take a look at our fellow white sisters living their life in missery at the age of 30 depending on social security. Kids groving up whithout a family. Most end their lifes i either jail or drugs. What happened to their families: You Ethiopians have a fantastic heritage to take care of when it comes to social family security, If taken care of the culture is unik and provides wealth for the families. What does a single “indipendent” young women with children living alone in the western culture have to face? Just missery…
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June 29th, 2010 at 5:15 PM
What is driving these men to kill their wives? When you marry for love and the love is mutual, there is no reason to doubt or feel insecure in your relationship. When the love is true love there is no yearning for anything else but making your partner happy. I don’t need to tell you why some people marry in our third world countries. To get out, economics, etc. Then you end up with huge age differences etc which “sometimes” leads people to want “something” else. Insecurities jealousy etc and if the person can’t cope with this emotions and/or is not willing to let go the this can easily spiral out of control. For you young folk: Marry for love and respect. Anything in the past should remain there.
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March 6th, 2011 at 2:48 PM
You don’t just go an dkill somebody because they make you mad! You should be ashamed of yourself for condoning (excuse speeling) for not feeling sympathy for this women? “what are these women doing to make thier men mad”? smh what are these men doing to theirs wives? A man should never hit a women we are equals. Period
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March 31st, 2011 at 9:18 PM
I find Ethopian ladies to be very beutiful and I’m long to marry a Ethopian christian lady who is loving and caring. It seems to me that the Ethopian men take it for grated to have the beutiful ladies around them.My adive to the Ethopian men is that they should value the ladies.i am of 20 yrs.name SHAMMAH K [KENYA][0714]
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June 17th, 2011 at 12:46 PM
It is sad to hear people relating such problems with whether one has adjusted to the American life or not. Don’t some angry American husbands kill their wives as well? Don’t you see such instances in the air be it here in America or Europe? I just don’t agree with the logic that relates such tragedies with either one has bean Westernized or not.
The problem is really individualistic by nature and lies deeply on how one resorts when faced with difficult/challenging situations such as these.
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July 27th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
what inhuman?
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November 27th, 2011 at 6:13 PM
It is such a bad action! People, think twice before you can make your mind emotionally. May her soul rest in eternal peace
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January 30th, 2012 at 11:12 PM